Ambush Interview #2: Michael Peters

Ambush interview number 2 is with local (recently) unemployed man and all around American hero Michael Patrick Peters. Mike is an expert in all 5 disciplines of the legendary pentacle of beer drinking (funneling, shotgunning, chugging, keg stand and Das Boot!) and has a penchant for canned Mandarin oranges. As a fellow PS3 owner I can only describe his tastes in electronics as "impeccable. On to the interview:


Mike is momentarily stunned by the ambush but then circles the wagons to prepare defense against Notes on the Run's onslaught!

1) Can Mustard go bad?

Mustard cannot go bad in a phsyical sense but it can go bad in a moral sense. I've seen it happen before and it's not pretty. Nothing says Thanksgiving at the Peters' house like getting pistol whipped by an ill tempered bottle of honey dijon. All I wanted was the goddamn mashed potatoes.

2) What celebrity would you most like to see funnel a beer?

Without a doubt the celebrity I would most like to see funnel a beer is TV's Terry O'Quinn, aka John Locke. He'd funnel the beer and then tell me about how it was the will of the Island that he get shitfaced. Maybe after that we'd toss some knives at helicopter pilots and play some drinking backgammon. It's like regular backgammon but it doesn't suck.

3) Playstation 3: Great video game system OR the greatest videogame system?

The Playstation 3 is neither a great video game system or the greatest video game system. I contend that the PS3 transcends even the mere monniker of a "video game system". It is the greatest electronic device ever created by man. Video games, wireless internet, media serving, Blu Ray player, and I swear to God yesterday my PS3 updated my resume for me. As I type this it's crafting a ship in a bottle USING ONLY IT'S MIND! If the grim apocolyptic future set forth in the Terminator movies ever comes true bet your ass Skynet is just a cluster of Linux enabled PS3s. And in this new future Xbox 360 owners will be burned alive on a pile of their own shoddy overheating consoles and Wii owners will be pitted against each other in a violent deathsport. All wirelessly broadcast over the Playstation Network and updated every Thursday.

4) What's up with the new Doritos logo?

Doritos has a new logo? I haven't paid attention to their brand since they got rid of those commercials with Ali Landry doing the splits.

5) Will you be instituting a strict "no-pants-before-noon" poilcy during your unemployment.

I have already instated a very liberal "no-pants" policy for my job-hunt. The policy can be summed up as "avoid wearing pants at all costs". I'm not even wearing pants as I conduct this interview and I wasn't allowed into Kroger last night due to my pantsless nature (for more information please check your local filing office for Peters' Wang v. Kroger).

There you go. Interview accomplished. Now if you'll excuse me, the PS3 and I are going to the country club for some doubles tennis.

Lost + Pop-Up Video

This subtitle nonsense is pretty lame, but I'm willing to put up with it to get psyched for tomorrow night's premiere. The finale was so sick they could have just showed it again and I would have been happy. Unless they start dropping some seriously crazy info in these little boxes, I give the whole concept a 4/10. Meh.

Ambush Interview #1: Trey Gregory

A new feature on notesontherun: the ambush interview. Beware gentle reader, at any moment you could be sent five random questions and forced to answer in full public view...unless you're a pussy about it. Interview number 1 is with my good friend and business partner Trey Gregory. He thinks Xbox 36o is pretty neat, but other than that he's alright. Without futher ado:


First of all, I'd like to express my elation at being ambushed by a blog. It's my first time being blogged about! Other than that time Britney Spears stepped on my foot. I was in US Weekly, and showed up in every celebrity blog in the net. (see attached picture)

1) You're a notorious fan of Unsolved Mysteries? What's the magic behind that show and why have we never seen it duplicated?

Ahh, Unsolved mysteries, every time I watched it, I wouldn't sleep for a week. I was too afraid that I would wake up in the middle of the night and Robert Stack would be in my room and he would say something to me in his CREEPY unsolved mysteries voice.

There are two elements that contributed to the magic of Unsolved mysteries. The first, is the host and narrator, SIR Robert Stack. His voice was both paternal and horrible. The voice a father would use when he tells his son he is dying. It sets the whole tone of the show, ads gravitas.

The second element is the re-enactments! I've always been a HUGE sucker for these. I don't go to battle re-enactments or anything, but on TV, I'm hooked. Sure, some people are content to listen to someone tell a story, but why do that when you can watch a re-enactment that features the ACTUAL police and family members involved in the incident!?! The acting was terrible, but something about the DARK lighting and the creepy REAL storylines drew me in.

And I believe that this magic has been recreated several times! Let me name a few bits of media that Unsolved Mysteries influenced:

Rescue 911 (Fuck you SHATner! Stack forever!)
A Haunting
I Shouldn't Be Alive
Touching the Void

And BTW this made my day:
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unsolved_Mysteries#HBO

According to an Article from Broadcast & Cable, HBO Distribution is planning on bringing back Unsolved Mysteries when the cable channel Lifetime contract expires in 2008. The show would feature a new set, new music, recaps on old cases, as well as new cases, and eventually a new host. [3] Sticking with the eerie theme that Unsolved Mysteries has always had, some rumored names to be the new host included James Earl Jones, Bryant Gumbel, actor Richard Jenkins, and poet Sean Janson. These are only rumors, though; an announcement is expected soon about the actual host-to-be.

2) What celebrity would you most like to see funnel a beer?

Alec Baldwin

3) Corn-nuts or Funyuns?

Ick, neither! Although if I got the Funyuns, I could give them to Les, she loves them, so I'll take those.

4) ECG Productions is pretty much the best production company ever. That's not actually a question.

It's definitely the best production company in the universe! I can't speak for other dimensions tho.

5) Does anyone actually like Ryan Seacrest?

Yes, most of America, I'm thinking of moving to Luxemburg, but I found out they suffer under a system of hereditary rule! That's bullshit....although, the country is incredibly RICH. Perhaps they need video production...I'll look into it...talk to my diplomatic connections, hey, what if I am actually Luxemburgian Royalty? I'll look into that too.


...end transmission...

DO NOT WANT!

It's official: she is the ugliest bitch on the planet. I would rather stab my eyes out with a rusty tire-iron than see the new Sex In The City movie. Truly, this is where boners go to die.

National Geographic Goes Blu-ray Exclusive

National Geographic announced today that they will be releasing content exclusively in the Blu-ray format. They now join Warner Brothers, Blockbuster, New Line, Miramax, Jesus, The American Gladiators, Tom Jones and pretty much everyone else who is even remotely relevant on the planet in endorsing the obviously superior format. For those of you who bought an HD-DVD player: nice work dickheads. Enjoy watching movies from Universal and....Universal...unless they're Steven Spielberg movies, he gets to do what he wants with those. pwned.

Book Autopsies

This guy carves sculptures out of actual books, and I like it.

How to amuse yourself in a Hospital, Vol. 1

Step 1). Get 4 mg morphine injection
Step 2). Take 10 mg of Ambien to "sleep"
Step 3). Try to stay awake and surf the web

This ought to produce some gems....or I might just wake up with my face on the keyboard. Developing...